Substitute
by You Can Call Me Effie
Summary: Meet Maya's older half sister. (Update: Format has been fixed)
1. Chapter 1

Class started out normally enough. Maya was teasing Lucas, Lucas was teasing back politely, Riley was staring at Lucas and Maya, Charlie was trying to get Riley's attention away from Lucas and Maya, Farkle and Smackle were lost in their lovey-dovey nerd world, and Zay was watching Lucas and Maya's interactions like a hawk. All in all, completely ordinary.

Until the bell rang.

"Morning, class. Today I'm bringing in a special guest to help me teach for community service," said Mr. Matthews. Murmurs started through the room. Riley raised her hand. "Yes, Riley."

"Is it Uncle Eric again?"

"Not this time, honey."

Maya raised her hand. "Is it boing?" Mr. Matthews shook his head.

Lucas tapped Maya on the shoulder. "Boing? I'm right here." Maya rolled her eyes.

"No, you're Bucky McBoingboing. Uncle boing is-"

"-My uncle Josh, who she has a crush on," Riley interjected. "You met him at game night."

Lucas made a face. "You like her uncle?"

"Riley..."

"Sorry, Peaches!"

"Wait, why do you call him boing?" Lucas asked.

Maya scoffed. "Have you seen him?"

"Oh." A smirk grew on Lucas's face. "And boingboing? What does that mean?"

"You don't want to go there, Bucky."

"I'm just curious as to what you mean..."

"Dad, don't you have something to teach us or something?"

Mr. Matthews furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. "Yeah, okay. As I was saying, I'm letting someone new take over the class for today's lesson on working together. History itself would cease to exist if human beings didn't form bonds with one another." Farkle raised his hand. "Farkle?"

"Farkle time, sir?"

"Not today, Farkle."

Riley spoke up, her eyebrows furrowed. "Why do we need a new teacher, anyway? You do fine on your own."

"Yeah," Maya agreed, making a face. "And if it's not squirrelly or boing, who is it?"

Mr. Matthews smiled."I'll let her introduce herself."

"Why?" Riley asked, exasperated.

"Who?" Maya asked, impatiently.

As the class collapsed into muttering again, a small, red headed girl walked in and jumped on the desk, sitting cross legged. She watched the class in amusement and apprehension, brushing her hair up into a ponytail. She waited until the talking stopped and everyone noticed her to wave. "Sup."

Maya's eyes widened and she started muttering. Riley's eyes widened for a completely different reason. This new girl's hair color was not natural. She looked like someone who hung out with the rebel. "Who are you?"

The girl smiled timidly. "I'm Lana. I'm from the high school connected to this one."

Maya forgot her shock temporarily. "This thing goes through high school?"

Lana shrugged, eyeing Maya apologetically. "Yeah, Maya. Sorry."

Maya groaned. Riley was confused. "Wait, you two know each other? How?"

"I am Maya's half sister."

Riley blinked. "I'm sorry, you're her WHAT?"

Maya grimaced slightly and turned to Riley. "She's from my dads family. She is his other daughter." Lucas reached over and squeezed her shoulder.

"You okay?"

Maya nodded.

There was a silence. Lana cleared her throat, hopping off the desk. "Right, so now that that awkwardness is over, how about we introduce ourselves. I'll go first. My name is Lana Clutterbucket. I am seventeen years old. My favorite food is chocolate dipped strawberries and this is not my natural hair color." A few people chuckled. A pause.

Maya sighed. "Fine, I guess I'll go." She leaned further on Lucas's desk. "I'm Maya. I'm fourteen. My favorite food is none of your business and also not important at all and you don't look me in the eyes."

Lana blinked. "Please say your last name."

Maya rolled her eyes. "It's Hart. Everyone here knows this. You know this. Or you don't, I don't know or care what your dad's told you about my mom."

Lana glared slightly. "Maya, I'm gonna ignore the fact that you just disowned your own father-"

"He basically disowned me."

"Well than we have that in common, don't we?"

Maya glowered. "At least he came back for you."

There was a silence. The rest of the class looked at them with rapt attention like the middle schoolers they were. Always for the gossip, thought Lana absently. She collected herself.

"Okay, Hart, how about this. From this moment up until I leave, we do not have a history. You are Maya Hart. I am Lana Clutterbucket. We've just met. Treat me like you treat all of your other teachers."

Maya raised an eyebrow.

Mr. Matthews snorted.

Lana shrugged. "I said it, I regret it, I am not taking it back. Now, you, behind Hart. Introduce yourself."

Lucas straightened up in his seat. "I'm Lucas Friar. I'm from Texas-"

"Really, Huckleberry, you choose that as your introduction?"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but maybe you'd find my introduction more satisfactory if you'd let me finish it?" Maya gestured for him to continue. Lana raised an eyebrow. Lucas gave Maya a goading smile and cleared his throat. "As I was saying, my name is Lucas Friar. I'm originally from Austen, Texas. I like barbecue and fortune cookies. I go by many names."

Maya snorted. "'I go by many names'? Who are you, James Bond?"

"If I'm James Bond, will you be my Pu-"

"If you finish that sentence, I'm tying you to that chair and leaving you here the rest of the day."

Lana snorted. "So I'm guessing this is Huckleberry the heehawing, sheep riding cowboy?"

Maya glared. "We don't know each other, remember?"

Missy raised her hand. "Wait, hold up. Sheep riding?"

Lucas turned to Maya. "Maya?"

Riley didn't like his tone. "Lucas!"

Maya glared harder. "Lana."

Farkle turned to Zay. "Zay."

Zay turned to Farkle. "Farkle."

Lana blinked rapidly. "Um, okay, moving on!"

Lucas raised his hand. "You can't run away from your problems, Maya's sister."

"Half sister!" Maya interjected. "And we don't know each other!"

Lana nodded. "And I can do whatever I want, Maya's cowboy. Also, why doesn't anyone in this class wait until they're called on to talk?"

Mr. Matthews shrugged. "Everyone else does. These five have Main Character Privilege."

Lana tilted her head. "They have what?"

"I said they have no manners."

Lana nodded, still confused. "Right."


	2. Chapter 2

Lana cleared her throat. This is a weird school. "Now, you with the puppy dog eyes and the pink sweater."

Missy lifted her head from where it was resting on her arms on the desk. "Oh, I get to talk today? Cool. I'm Missy Bradford. I'm fourteen, my favorite food is popcorn and I kick box."

The class turned to look at her. Lana grinned. "A pretty girl who kick boxes. Sweet. Use that in the future if anyone acts ungentlemanly to you. Or gentlewomanly." Missy nodded. Lana nodded back. "Great. Now, you with the leather and the bored look on your face."

The Rebel nodded slightly. "I'm Brandon. They call me the rebel. I don't really know why."

Lana smiled. "Honestly, it's probably the leather. I get that, too. Don't worry about it, though, Brandon. In a couple years, girls will be all over you." She smirked. "In fact, I see one girl already looking at you like you're the last slice of peach pie."

The class looked at Maya.

She snorted. "What're you looking at me for? No offense to you, rebel boy, but we are way too similar."

Brandon nodded. "No offense taken."

Lana nodded. "Now, you with the blue shirt."

"I already went."

"No, not you Lucas. The boy two seats behind you."

Billy jumped. "Oh, wow. I get lines?"

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm Billy Ross, I like sports pretty girls. Speaking of which, you're a cutie, aren't you?"

Lana raised her eyebrow. "Yes, yes I am, Billy the flirt, and I'm also way too old for you."

Billy shrugged. "What's three years?"

Maya put up her hand. "Trust me, dude. Let it go."

"Yeah," Zay added. "Unrequited love sucks."

Billy made a face. "Who said anything about love?"

Lana put up her hand. "Right, okay, that's enough. I agree with Maya and the other boy. Speaking of, why don't you introduce yourself next, other boy?"

He stood up and bowed. "My name is Zay Babineaux, at your service. I like ballet, hot dogs, and helping people who need it. Now, you seem like the type of girl who gets hit on quite a bit, so as a concerned citizen of this classroom, I'd like to propose something."

Lana smirked. "Alright, I'll bite. What is your proposal?"

"I'd like to offer up my services as a bodyguard. For a price, of course."

Lana smiled wryly. "Of course."

"Bodyguard? Really?" Lucas interjected. "You can't keep yourself out of trouble, how are you going to keep her out of it?"

"Could you maybe save your quips until after I close a business deal? Cause that would be much appreciated."

"Boys, boys, you're both pretty," interrupted Farkle, "but I'm pretty sure Missy would make a better bodyguard than both of you."

A chorus of agreements went around the room. Missy smirked and high fived Darby, who sat in front of her.


	3. Chapter 3

Lana held up her hand to get the class's attention. "Alright, guys, that's enough. If we keep getting distracted, we're not even gonna get through the introductions today."

The class quieted.

She smiled. "Thank you. Now," she looked around. "You, with the small boy on your lap- is that allowed, Mr. Matthews?"

Matthews shrugged from where he was sitting and kicked his feat up on a desk in the back. Was he eating a donut? "You're the teacher."

Lana nodded. "Right. Um, yeah, as long as he doesn't mind-"

The blonde girl tightened her hold on the small boy. "You don't mind, do you, Yogles?"

Yogi stared blankly ahead. "Kill me."

"He doesn't mind."

Lana edged slightly away from them. "Right." She shook her head. "So, what's your name?"

"I'm Darby."

"Darcy?"

Darby glowered. "DARBY."

Lana raised her hands up in surrender. "Okay!"

"And this is Yogi."

"Hello, Yogi."

"Don't look him in the eyes."

"Right, okay, nice to meet you guys, I'm gonna move on now." Why does no one else seem to find this weird?

Sarah raised her hand. "Yes?"

"Can I go now? I mean, it's fine if I can't, but I kind of want to."

Lana sighed in relief and smiled. She seems normal enough. "Yeah, go ahead."

Sarah smiled. "I'm Sarah and I never do anything ever."

Lana blinked. "Alright, Sarah. We'll change that."

Sarah smiled wider.

Lana turned to Farkle. "Okay, cute one with the Einstein t-shirt."

The class did a double take. Maya pointed at Farkle, confused. "He's the cute one?"

Lucas looked slightly offended.

Farkle smiled smugly. "My name is Farkle Minkus and you're a woman who just called me cute and not Lucas."

Lana shrugged. "He's too Ken Doll for my taste. Also, Hart would kick my-"

"Ahem."

"... Bum."

Matthews nodded and returned to his- Where did he get tator tots?

Lana shook her head. Riley raised her hand. "Yeah, Doe eyes?"

Missy looked up. "What?"

Riley turned to her. "Not you, Missy, go back to sleep."

Missy shrugged and put her head back down.

Lana nodded for Riley to continue. "My name is Riley Matthews and I do not appreciate you bringing up our personal lives in class."

The class looked at Riley in shock. Lana raised an eyebrow.

"You're Matthews's kid, right?"

Riley held her head up. "Yes."

"And he talks about your personal lives all the time, does he not?"

"Yeah, but he's my dad. He's also a professional teacher. You're just a big kid."

"Farkle teaches the class sometimes. You don't question it."

"Farkle is a genius. He's smarter than my dad."

Lana turned to Matthews, who shrugged.

Lana turned back to Riley. "Okay, Princess Matthews. I see your point and I respect it." Riley raised an eyebrow. Lana continued. "However, I am going to be here for the rest of the week. So you might as well get used to having to listen to a big kid with average intelligence."

Riley smiled lightly, "I'm Riley, I like sunshine and Pluto and if you hurt Maya I will be very tempted to give you a piece of my mind."

Lana grinned. "I like you, Sunshine. You're fierce."

Riley inclined her head, glancing at Maya. "Thank you."

A boy behind Lucas raised his hand. Wait, wasn't Zay sitting there like five minutes ago? "Yes?"

"May I introduce myself next?"

"Go ahead."

He stood up. "My name is Charlie Gardner and I have three sisters and that's basically everything."

"I'm sure there's more, go on."

"I like poetry and I hate gardening."

Lana nodded. "That's... Nice. Okay, Poet. You can sit down now."

Smackle stood up. "I'm going up now, seeing as everyone else is hiding their faces. My name is Isadora Smackle and I am romantically attached to Farkle Minkus- I'm talking to you, Lucas. I also enjoy being the smartest person in the room, bowling, and the Disney Channel."

Lana nodded at her. "Okay, Isadora. Is that everyone?"

A boy in the far back raised his hand. "Yeah, go ahead."

"I'm Dave."

Lana blinked. "...Okay. What do you like, Dave?"

Dave blinked back. "I like potato chips."

Lana nodded slowly. "Right. Okay, now is that everyone?"

The class nodded.

"Good, let's get started."


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay!" Lana clapped twice. "Hart, Matthews, Smackle, Bradford, Sarah, Darby! To the right!"

The girls stood up and moved to the side.

"Friar, Rebel, Babineaux, Ross, Dave, Gardner and-"

Farkle smirked. "Lady."

Lana smirked back. "Farkle." She then snorted. I just flirted with a fourteen year old boy. I need a girlfriend. "To The left!"

Lucas raised his hand slightly. "Uh, Teacher? The girls are outnumbered."

Lana nodded. "Yep."

Lucas scratched the back of his neck. "We're going into pairs, right?"

Lana nodded. "Yep."

Lucas made a face. "But we can't do that if-"

"Nope."

Lucas rolled his eyes and muttered to himself. Maya thought she heard the words "two Maya's" and was just about to snap at him when she heard the words "not as fun as I thought it'd be" and decided kicking him in the shin sufficed.

Lana cleared her throat. "Okay! Since this is going to be a week long assignment and I have to be here for all of it, we're just gonna assign partners today. Also, introductions took too much time."

Maya raised her eyebrows. "There's an odd number of us."

Lana nodded. "Yep."

Maya groaned. "I stink at math and even I know that it's not possible to divide thirteen in half."

Lana nodded. "Ye-"

"Don't."

She pouted. "Fine. Now, is everyone done interrupting?"

The class chorused back. "Yep."

Lana grimaced. "Wow, that is annoying."

"Yep."

"Anyway! Darby partners with-"

"Yogles!"

"-Dave."

"WHAT?"

"DAVE!"

The class looked on in silence and shock. Darby ducked her head and slinked over to Dave. "Okay."

Lana sighed in relief. "Thank you. Yogi is going to help me keep an unbiased track of points."

Darby glared. "You just want him for yourself!"

Lana threw her hand out. "He's like twelve!"

"Farkle's fourteen!"

"I'm gay!"

The class silenced.

Billy groaned. "So THAT'S why she won't go out with me."

Missy turned toward him. "I don't think that's it."

"Than what else could it be?"

"Do you want a list?"

"Anyway!" Lana clapped. "Since you all know now, I'm gonna ask if you're okay with it."

Riley tilted her head. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"Some people aren't."

Isadora raised her hand. "I am asexual."

A girl in the back with glasses raised her hand. "Me too!"

Billy raised his hand. "Isn't asexual, like, plants and stuff?"

Smackle ducked her head. "No. It mean I do not feel any sort of sexual feelings at all."

Farkle turned to her. "Permission to hug you?"

Smackle smiled gratefully. "Granted."

Billy was confused but let it drop. "Okay?"

Lana smiled at him. "I'd research it."

He nodded.

Lucas looked at the clock and cleared his throat. "Um, I hate to ruin the moment and everything, but the bells gonna ring in ten minutes."

Lana snapped up. "Oops! Okay, isadora! I'm going to put you with Billy. You may refuse if you'd like."

Isadora shook her head. "It's fine. I have been too attached to Farkle anyways." She looked up at him. "I trust that you understand?"

Farkle smiled. "I do."

Lana smiled. "Maya is with Lucas."

"Wait, what?"

"I'm with the Huckleberry?"

Lana blinked at the two who were suddenly in her personal space. "Matthews!"

"You're the boss."

"Riley is with Brandon!"

"WHAT?"

Lana rolled her eyes and mimicked him. "I'm the boss."

Matthews was suddenly in front of her. "I do not approve of this."

Lana shrugged. "This is my classroom for the week, Matthews. As a teacher, you don't get a say."

"And as a parent?"

"Don't tell me how to teach my class, Mr. Matthews. Your daughter is a bright girl who can take care of herself, and Brandon seems like a good kid."

"Says you! You're just like him! He could be selling questionable items that I am not allowed to name as this is a Disney show!"

Lana glared, ignoring the fact that this was the third time someone had eluded to this being a television show. "Detention."

Matthews gasped. "Detention?"

Lana nodded. "Detention."

Mr. Matthews sulked back to his desk. Riley looked up at Lana, wide-eyed.

Brandon patted her on the back gingerly. Riley jumped and looked at him questioningly. He shrugged and put his hands back in his pocket.

Lana sighed and went after Mr. Matthews.

"Matthews, I'm sorry I had to give you detention. But you were insulting me."

"How?"

"'You're just like him! He could be selling questionable items!' You know that that's not even why I'm doing community service."

Mr. Matthews crossed his arms. "You put my defenseless little girl with a hooligan."

Lana sighed. "She isn't defenseless and he isn't a hooligan."

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"Do you want another detention?"

Matthews was silent. Lana sighed again. "Come on, Mr. Matthews. Look at them. They're adorable."

Riley was trying semi successfully to get Brandon to talk.

Mr. Matthews sighed. "That's what I'm afraid of. She already got her heart broken by Mr. Perfect over there. I don't want her getting hurt again."

Lana sat on the desk next to him. "She won't." She paused, tilting her head. "So, why do you keep talking about this being a tv show-"

"Aren't you supposed to be pairing them up?"

Lana jumped up and ran back to the front of the class. "Shoot! Okay! Missy, you're with Zay! Charlie, you're with Sarah! Farkle, you're a genius, please pick a team to join or pick one of the background characters! Wait." Lana threw her hands in the air. "Now, I'm doing it!"

Farkle closed his eyes and spun in a circle. He pointed. "That one."

The girl with the glasses in the back of the class waved.

Lana tilted her head. "What's your name?"

"Brenda!"

The bell rang.

Lana sighed in relief, then confusion. Why we're all of them heterosexual pairings? She was planning to put at least one non-straight pair in. Huh. "See you guys tomorrow!"

Lucas turned back towards her, next to Maya. "Wait, what are we even being paired up for?"

Lana almost slapped herself. "I haven't said? Sorry! It's a Marriage Project."

The two looked at each other, shuddered slightly, and stepped farther away from the other.

Maya grimaced. "I've already worn a wedding dress in this school."

Lucas and Lana snorted. Lana smiled at her. "I hope you kept it."

Maya shrugged. "I cut it splattered paint all over it."

Lana shrugged at the two leaving the classroom. "That works."

She turned to Mr. Matthews, grinning scarily. "Now, for your detention."

Matthews slumped in his chair.


	5. Chapter 5

Maya groaned. "I can't believe I'm married to Huckleberry."

Riley smiled. "It could be worse. You could be married to Yogi and have to face Darby's wrath."

Maya snorted. "Yeah. Speaking of worse, how're things with you and the Rebel?"

Riley blushed. "Maya! He's not bad, once you get to know him. He's actually really sweet."

Riley turned around to see Maya frozen on in the middle of the hallway. She sighed and went back, dragging her by the hand to the classroom.

Maya spluttered. "Riles, please don't tell me you like Brandon."

Riley flushed. Maya burst out laughing. "Oh my god!"

Riley tried to shush her but she just kept laughing.

She covered her face with her hands, letting go of Maya. "Peaches!"

Maya was on the ground at this point. Lucas and Zay made their way over. Lucas poked Maya in the side with his shoe. "What happened to her?"

Maya gasped out. "Riles... Rebel... OTP... Phahahaha!"

Zay snorted. "That's helpful."

Riley flushed further. "Guys, shut up!"

Lana rounded the corner and stared. "Hey, Buckaroo, get your foot off my sister."

Lucas backed away quickly as Lana went to help Maya up. "Hey, Short Shorts, what's so funny?"

Maya snorted and shrugged her off. "Firstly, don't call me that, you're like an inch taller than me. Second, don't call him that. We've been over this. As for what's so funny, I think your whole princess rebel thing or whatever is working better than you might've expected."

Lana smirked. "Sweet." She looked at the group (which now included Brandon, Farkle, and Isadora) and waved. "Get to class, stay with your spouses, and be safe."

Zay choked.

Lana snorted and walked away. "Naughty. Get to class!"

As they all began walking, Lucas turned to Maya. "'Be safe'?"

Maya snorted. "Don't worry about it."


	6. Chapter 6

Two days into the assignment, and Lucas was beginning to get used to the whole marriage to Maya thing.

Zay clapped his hand on Lucas's shoulder. "So, Mr. Maya, how's the wife?"

Lucas rolled his eyes and smiled. "Same as before, accept she's turned the nicknames up to eleven. How's Missy?"

Zay shrugged. "Keeps ranting about Billy being an idiot. Honestly, I'm beginning to think she'd rather be married to him. It's kinda hurting my feelings."

"Come on, she's not that bad."

"We watched the Notebook."

"Yeah?"

"She laughed when they died."

Charlie, who was walking to the same class, interjected. "She didn't!"

"She did!"

Charlie looked horrified. "Does she have no soul?!"

Zay shrugged, pulling his backpack higher on his shoulders. "Who even knows, man."

Lucas interjected. "Anyway, where are the girls? They have this class too, right?"

Brandon pushed passed them. "Obviously, otherwise they wouldn't be showing this class on screen."

The other boys shrugged in agreement and walked in.

Farkle and Smackle were nuzzling noses, while Back of the Class Brenda tried to make conversation with an unwilling Billy.

The boys decided to sit with the girls.

Maya looked up from her sketchbook when she heard them come in. She smirked at Lucas briefly before turning her attention to Brandon. "Hey, leather. You been treating my pumpkin right?"

Riley looked embarrassed. "Maya!"

"Shh, sweetie, I'm threatening your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend!"

"Oh, just your husband, than?"

"Yes! Wait-"

Maya turned back to Brandon, who seemed to be hiding a smirk. "Oi, you think this is funny, rebel?"

He stopped smiling. "No, ma'am."

She narrowed her eyes. "Good."

The teacher then called their attention to the board, cutting off anything else Maya was going to say.

Brandon started to relax in his seat, until she did the 'I'm watching you' motion with her hand.

Brandon was wondering when he started being afraid of the petite blonde, and turned to see Lucas looking at him sympathetically.

He raised an eyebrow in an 'is she always like this?' way.

Lucas shrugged and nodded.

Brandon looked at Riley and Maya and sighed quietly.

These main characters make everything difficult.


End file.
